Is it a bird? 
Is it a plane?
No it's.....IKERMANDefying the laws of physics Ikerman (aka Kool Kat Casillas) flies to the rescue of the Club Of Dreams time after time.
With his hyper-worked Danger Radar he senses danger before it arrives and jumps out onto onrushing Dark Side forwards before they can strike.
Ikerman's Quest? To keep his Sheets Clean.
Ikerman's accomplishments speak for themselves:
With an Average of
5042 Saves Per Game in the
Last Season of Doom,
Ikerman was singlehandedly responsible for a
700% reduction of the no. under the Goals Conceded column for his
Great Club of Dreams. In the process Ikerman managed
11,031 of the Greatest Saves Ever.
But to succeed in his quest he has had to battle not only the Legions of Dark Side forwards but also his own backstabbing
Pretend-Defenders Pathetic Pavon and
Buffoon Bravo who with their deadly powers of
Unsurpassed Incompetence piss all over
Ikerman's Sheets and sabotage all of
Ikerman's good work.
A Knowledgeable Chico tries to prevent Pathetic Pavon from walking onto the field and causing Irreparable Damage.
Buffoon Bravo displaying his overused weapon of Hopeless Ineptitude.
Unknown to
Ikerman, the
Comic Duo are actually the cronies of the
Evil Tyrant Perez (aka
DollarBalls aka
The Inhuman Imbecile SOB). The
ETP sits in his mansion with dreams of
World Domination and wilfully ignores the desperate quest of
Ikerman.
The ETP exults after announcing his Plans of Evil Dominion.
With no help from those who should be aiding him,
Ikerman battles alone.
This was not always the case. Previously
Vacuum Cleaner Makelele and
Manic Fighter Helguera would provide
Able Assistance to Ikerman - but Alas, their Assistance was cut short by
Arch-Nemesis ETP who sold VCM and destroyed the confidence of MFH.
So now
Ikerman fights on his own without complaining for he has seen how
ETP manipulated Public Opinion to get rid of previous superheroes like
Prince Redondo and
Ironman Hierro.
ETP using his Evil Power of Specious Argumentation to deceive Unsuspecting Madridistas.
But Ikerman remains ever hopeful that one day ETP's Reign of Terror will end and fighters for Ikerman's Holy Quest shall aid him once more....
At the present time though
Ikerman and his Admiring Fans are happy - for
Ikerman has managed to thwart the Concerted Counter-Attacks of Kiev and the Aimless Attempts at space coverage by his So-Called Teammates who were led in this regard by the
Usual Incompetence of
Pathetic Pavon.
But this is just the beginning of this
Season of Prospective Failure and
Ikerman will face much sterner tests along the way.
Kool Kat Casillas will have to use his
Powers of Super-Sharpness to their full extent to keep the
Hounds of the Oppostion at bay.
King Blanco offers encouragement to Ikerman who is in a Frustrated by Overwork mood
Will
Ikerman be able to singlehandedly
Keep the Dream Alive and mirror his magnificence of the Past Seasons?
Keep the faith and stay tuned to the
Real Madrid Soap Opera to find out.
In his next adventure
Ikerman comes up against the Tinkerman and his minions of Valencia who have usurped the
Champion Crown from the
Club Of Dreams. While
Ikerman's sheets are widely expected to be soiled by the Pretenders to the Throne,
Unflinching Ikerman is sure to make his
Usual Valiant Attempt to prevent this terrible outcome.
Unflinching Ikerman
All Hail Ikerman
